Active listening is one of the most important skills you need to learn to be a successful customer service representative (for a full explanation of what active listening in customer service is, see this in-depth article I wrote about it here), and while you might have thought that it’s something you already do, the truth is there’s actually a lot more to it than just hearing what someone else is saying. That’s why I wrote this complete guide that will show you exactly how to actively listen to a customer, step by step.
1. Be Genuinely Interested in What They’re Saying
There maybe 11 more steps left in this article but they will be of no use if they’re not based on your being genuinely interested in what the customer is saying. That’s because active listening is about being engaged in an authentic dialogue with the customer, and no technique can take the place of a sincere desire to understand their perspective.
Additionally, once you’re genuinely interested in what the customer is saying, the following steps will be very easy to carry out. After all, it’s not difficult to focus on what the customer is saying, not interrupt them, be patient, encourage them to say more, and empathize, and validate their perspective, if you’re actually interested in it. They’re the natural, intuitive things you already do when participating in a conversation that you’re genuinely interested in.
Now some service representatives find it difficult to be genuinely interested in what their customer is saying because, from their point of view, they’re dealing with the same issues over and over again. But this is a mistake. The point isn’t to be interested in the issue for it’s own sake, but rather to understand it in order to meet the customer’s needs. If meeting the customer’s needs is the goal, then listening to them will be interesting, even if the specific issue itself is very boring indeed.
2. Give Them Your Complete & Undivided Attention
Active listening is when you do more than just hear the words the customer is saying, it’s when you actually engage with it’s content to the extent that you completely understand the thoughts and feelings of the customer. In order to do that however, you need to give the customer your complete and undivided attention.
Not only that, but giving the customer your undivided attention shows them a level of respect that will make them feel heard, understood and that what they’re saying is important to you – which, since you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say, it is. This will also have the knock on effect of making the customer open up and tell you more, so that you understand them more and are better able to meet their needs.
So when actively listening to a customer, set aside what you were doing, eliminate all other distractions and focus solely on what the customer is saying. Of course, you should do this in a natural way that doesn’t make the customer feel like they’re a huge burden to you for having to drop everything just to hear what they have to say. Just pay attention to the customer and ignore other potential distractions and interruptions as much as you can, and you’ll be just fine.
3. Don’t Interrupt, Even if You Know What’s Coming
So far we’ve focused on the ‘active’ part of the phrase ‘active listening’ to raise our game from merely hearing to being fully engaged with the customer, but we shouldn’t forget the second part of the phrase which tells us that the full engagement is with the listening part of a conversation not the speaking part. Remember, the goal of active listening is to understand the needs and concerns of the customer and not to dominate or steer the conversation in the direction we want with our input.
That’s why you need to resist the urge to interject and let the customer speak without interruption. You want the customer to express themselves fully and tell you everything they can with as many details and nuances as possible, so you can get a comprehensive understanding of the situation. This won’t happen if you repeatedly break into the customer’s flow and change the course of the conversation.
Even if you think you’ve understood, let the customer speak until they’re finished. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I understood the point the customer was making, but because I let them continue until they had finished everything they wanted to say, new details emerged that changed my entire understanding of what they were saying.
And even if you could be sure that you understood the customer correctly, you should still allow them to finish what they’re saying. It makes the customer feel heard and valued and creates a stronger connection between you that makes it likely the customer will turn to you again in the future. After all, everyone likes to talk to someone who will actually listen to them and value what they have to say, and a customer is no different.
4. Be Patient & Let Them Fully Express Themselves
They say that patience is a virtue and that’s especially true when it comes to active listening. No one feels heard when the person who’s supposedly listening to them rushes them along or jumps in with responses or solutions prematurely – even if they mean well, and you won’t get the full picture of what they’re saying either. You need to give the customer as much time and space as they need to fully express themselves, even if you’d prefer to move things along more quickly.
It’s worth bearing in mind that while you might expect a customer to be readily able to articulate their needs and concerns, and even to know exactly what they are, often this is not the case. Sometimes customers are unable to express themselves properly and need time to gather their thoughts, and other times customers only become fully aware of what they really need, while talking it through with you. Patience is not just about respect, it’s a powerful tool that helps the customer express themselves.
So be patient and avoid the urge we all have to jump in as soon as you think you understand or see a solution that you think will work for the customer. You need to be willing to embrace pauses, silences and moments of reflection within the conversation, and wait a little longer for the deeper insights and more meaningful exchanges to emerge.
5. Pay Attention to Body Language: Yours & Theirs
I don’t know exactly what percentage of communication is non-verbal, but I do know that it’s enough that you need to pay attention to it.
That’s why, when actively listening to a customer, you should observe their body language as it can convey as much, if not more, than what they say verbally, and contain nuances that often can’t be put into words. So keep an eye on the customer’s posture, facial expressions, and gestures, as they can offer valuable insights into their thoughts, feelings and needs, and adjust your approach accordingly.
You should also pay attention to your own body language to ensure that you’re signalling approachability and receptiveness, and not disinterest or worse hostility. To do that you need to adopt an upright posture, keep your arms and legs uncrossed, and let your gestures flow naturally. You also need to maintain the appropriate amount of eye contact for the situation as it signals attentiveness and sincerity, and for the same reason, remember to occasionally offer a warm and friendly smile.
Finally, mirroring the customer’s body language can strengthen your connection with them and encourage them to say more. You can match their posture, facial expressions and gestures which will foster a sense of rapport and understanding. Obviously this needs to be natural, because overt mimicry will come across as insincere and disingenuous, and have the opposite of the desired effect.
6. Tune Into Their Emotions
You’re listening to the words the customer is saying and paying attention to their body language, but you’re still not actively listening fully unless you also tune into their emotions. Customers bring a range of emotions to their interactions – from frustration and disappointment to satisfaction and joy, and you need to recognize and respond to them to truly understand the customer’s perspective.
That’s because the emotions behind what the customer is saying are often far more important than the words themselves. Emotions have a profound impact on people and affect them more deeply than the words they’re using to express them would otherwise indicate. Moreover, emotions can provide valuable context and reveal the underlying motivations, concerns, and priorities behind what the customer is saying, so it’s vital that you tune into them.
Customers express their emotions through verbal cues, such as the tone of their voice, and non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, so the way to tune into a customer’s emotions is by watching out for these cues and becoming sensitive to their manifestations and the meaning(s) they convey. Don’t forget that some of these cues can be quite subtle – watch out for a furrowed brow, a sigh or a hesitant pause, and that emotions can evolve during an interaction.
7. Use Verbal and Non-Verbal Minimal Encouragers
As mentioned above, when actively listening to a customer you need to let them speak without interruption. However, this can lead to two problems. First, after a prolonged silence on your part, the customer may become unsure whether you understand what they’re saying and second, without stopping them to find out more details about some of the crucial points they mention, important information may be left unexplored, making understanding the customer much more difficult.
That’s where using minimal encouragers comes in handy. Minimal encouragers are brief responses that either signal to the customer that you understand what they’re saying, or gently prompts them to share more details about a particular point so you can fully explore it. The beauty of minimal encouragers is that they allow you to show you understand or guide the conversation without causing disruption, as their minimal nature means that customers don’t perceive them as interruptions.
Minimal encouragers can be verbal or non-verbal. Non-verbal minimal encouragers are nodding and smiling which shows the customer that you’ve understood, and verbal minimal encouragers can be any short phrase that indicates either that you’ve understood or that you want the customer to elaborate on the point they’re making. If you’re not sure what to say, check out the following table for examples of some simple but effective verbal minimal encouragers that you can use, for inspiration:
| Verbal Encouragers Showing Understanding | Verbal Encouragers Prompting Elaboration |
|---|---|
| I understand. | Please, go on. |
| I’m following. | Tell me more about that. |
| That makes sense. | What happened next? |
| I see where you’re coming from. | Can you share more details? |
| It sounds like you’re saying… | How has this impacted you? |
8. Ask Open-Ended Questions to Uncover More Details
Open-ended questions are a powerful tool in active listening as they allow you to gain a deeper insight into what a customer is saying. Unlike closed-ended questions that elicit a simple one word or “yes” or “no” response, open-ended questions encourage a customer to express themselves freely and openly, and provide detailed and nuanced responses about their thoughts and feelings, so you can gather more information and understand their perspective more fully.
Open-ended questions are particularly useful if a customer is of the type mentioned above who struggles to articulate their needs and concerns properly, as they help them express themselves freely while simultaneously guiding them towards the specific point you need to understand. And if a customer can express themselves well, there still maybe areas they haven’t explored or fully clarified in their minds, and open-ended questions would uncover those valuable insights that would otherwise be left undiscovered.
Either way, by asking open-ended questions, you not only get a better understanding of the needs and concerns of the customer, you also demonstrate a genuine interest in their perspective and in addressing their concerns effectively. This makes the customer feel heard and valued, which as mentioned above, makes it likely that they will turn to you again in the future, because people like to talk to someone who will actually listen to them and value what they have to say.
And if you’re unsure about the difference between the two types of questions, the following table contains some useful open-ended questions you can try out and their closed-ended version for comparison:
| Open-Ended Questions | Closed-Ended Versions |
|---|---|
| What challenges are you currently facing? | Are you facing any specific challenges at the moment? |
| Can you provide more details about that issue? | Is there a specific issue you’d like to elaborate on? |
| What features are you looking for in the product? | Are you looking for specific features in the product? |
| Tell me about your preferences. | Do you prefer option A or option B? |
| Describe your ideal solution. | Are you looking for a solution that includes XYZ feature? |
| How would you describe your experience? | Did you have a positive or negative experience? |
9. Respond Reflectively to Show You’re Listening
Actively listening to a customer is essential, yet its impact will be limited if the customer is unaware that you’re doing it, which is why the next step is to demonstrate that not only have you’ve heard what the customer is saying but you’ve also truly understood them. To do this you need to respond reflectively by paraphrasing both the words that the customer has said and the emotions underlying them.
Paraphrasing is when you summarize what the customer has said or the emotions you’re picking up from them, in your own words. Don’t just parrot back what the customer has said as it will make them think that you’re not truly engaged with the conversation or worse, that you’re insincere. Instead, use your own words because it proves unequivocally that you’ve understood exactly what the customer is saying and that you’re interested in addressing their concerns.
As you paraphrase, be mindful of your tone of voice, ensuring that it aligns with the attentive message you want to convey. A warm and empathetic tone can reassure the customer that their concerns are being taken seriously and that you genuinely care about addressing them. Conversely, a dismissive or indifferent tone will undermine the effectiveness of your reflective response, and leave the customer feeling unheard or unimportant.
Don’t be afraid of paraphrasing incorrectly. It’s completely OK to make a mistake and get things wrong. Actively listening doesn’t guarantee that you’ll understand the customer the first time around, and it’s perfectly reasonable to refine your understanding during the course of your conversation. The point is to show that you’re trying to understand what the customer is saying and responding reflectively does exactly that even if initially, you’re a little wide of the mark.
10. Confirm Your Understanding of Their Issue
You’ve patiently listened to the customer without interrupting them, you’ve encouraged them to share more by asking open-ended questions and you’ve responded reflectively to show you’ve understood (or at least think you do), now you need to confirm that your understanding of their issue is correct. This is still a major part of active listening because unless you’ve actually understood the customer, you’ve missed the point of this whole process!
Paraphrase the customer’s main point or points in your own words and ask them directly if you’ve understood them correctly. You could say something like, “Just to make sure I’ve got this right, you’re saying…” or “If I understand correctly, you’re saying…” and let the customer either confirm your understanding of what they’ve said or correct any misinterpretations.
Sometimes a customer will confirm your understanding but you can tell from their body language that you haven’t gotten it quite right. In my experience, some customers feel uncomfortable correcting misunderstandings especially if they think I’ve got the gist of what they’re saying, and opt instead to accept an approximation. In such situations, you should reassure the customer that you welcome any modifications to your understanding even if only slight, and that they shouldn’t worry about offending you.
11. Acknowledge and Validate Their Perspective
As you can see from the last few sections, actively listening to a customer means not only actively listening to a customer but also showing that you’ve been actively listening to them by responding reflectively and confirming your understanding of what they’ve been saying. To continue to do this you need to both acknowledge and validate the customer’s perspective.
Acknowledging the customer’s perspective is when you assure them that you’ve received and understood their message. You do this by restating the thoughts or feelings the customer has expressed but in a way that confirms that you’ve understood them – which makes this a step more than just paraphrasing. For example, you could say something like, “I understand that you’re frustrated with the delayed delivery.”
Validating the customer’s perspective is a step beyond acknowledging it, where you assure the customer that their thoughts and feelings are not only understood but are also valid. For example, you might say something like, “It’s completely reasonable to be concerned about this.” Validating the customer’s perspective doesn’t mean that you agree with it, it means that you recognize the significance of the customer’s experience – for them.
12. Address Their Issue Appropriately
The final step of active listening is to address the customer’s issue appropriately. After all, it’s not active listening to acknowledge and validate what the customer is saying with your words and then fail to address it meaningfully afterwards.
Addressing the customer’s issue appropriately may mean taking significant action, like finding a solution to their problem or providing hands-on assistance and support, but it could also involve simpler gestures such as offering encouragement, reassurance or even empathy. Whichever it is, the key is to take proactive steps to address the customer’s issue effectively and to ensure their complete satisfaction with the outcome.
Of course, while addressing the customer’s issue you should continue actively listening to them. That’s because it allows you to remain attuned to any changes or new information the customer may provide, and adapt your approach accordingly. It’s also because active listening fosters a stronger connection with a customer even when no additional information is needed to address their issue. And since the entire goal of customer service is to build a relationship, you should seize every opportunity to engage in active listening that you can.