At first I didn’t like even the idea of having to talk to the inevitable problem customer, but after a few successes I discovered a profound satisfaction when I not only survived those interaction more or less intact, but also achieved a fantastic positive outcome. On occasion, I’ve even transformed a supposedly difficult customer into a loyal advocate, turning their angry complaints into enthusiastic and heartfelt compliments, and you can do it too. Here’s how.
1. Prepare for Problems Proactively
Talking to a problem customer is always much easier if you’re prepared. Once you’re in the middle of a difficult interaction, it’s much more difficult to search for the necessary information to try and address an impatient customer’s concerns, remember useful techniques for diffusing tension and start devising effective strategies for dealing with an escalating situation. Effective preparation will mean that you already know what to do, and can concentrate on its implementation.
That’s why you need to learn how to diffuse and deescalate tensions, gain control of challenging situations and manage escalations (the rest of this article will explain exactly how to do that) and practice those skills beforehand. Role-playing different scenarios (even if it’s only in your mind) will not only give you the confidence to deal with the real thing, but also enhance your proficiency in managing problem customers.
Additionally, make sure that you’re armed with all the information that you need. If you understand your company’s products, services and protocols inside out, then when you encounter a problem customer, you’ll start off in a much stronger position, as you know exactly what you can and cannot do to help them.
Finally, you should prepare by reinforcing yourself with the right mindset. Remember, as someone who wants to provide outstanding customer service, your job is to do all you reasonably can to make the customer satisfied, even if they’re being a pain in the neck at the time. Cultivate a positive attitude and a mindset of patience, empathy, and a commitment to finding solutions – even under the stress of talking to a confrontational customer.
If you’re calling a problem customer, then you should also prepare by ensuring that all your equipment is working properly. It’s always easier to talk to a problem customer over the phone, when you can both hear what the other person is saying. Since there are several significant differences when it comes to how to talk to a problem customer over the phone, I wrote a separate in-depth guide about it which you can find here, (although I’ll still integrate some of the more general ideas in this article too).
2. Remain Professional at All Times
Maintaining professionalism at all times is of supreme importance when talking to a problem customer for two reasons. The first is because an unprofessional response can damage not only your personal reputation but also the standing of your company – both of which can be very difficult to restore, and the second is because remaining professional is the most effective way to resolve any problems.
But how do you remain professional when faced with a complaining customer or a barrage of insults or escalating tensions? Well, if as mentioned above, you’ve prepared by cultivating the right mindset of being committed to customer satisfaction even if said customer is not quite deserving of it (to put it mildly), then it will already be much easier for you to resist the urge to respond to inappropriate behavior in kind. Having said that, here are some additional things you should do.
Remain Emotionally Detached
Always remain emotionally detached from what a problem customer says and certainly don’t take any of their insults personally – because they don’t mean them personally. Remember, the customer’s anger and frustration is in response to the situation and their dissatisfaction with it, and not a reflection on you or your capabilities, whatsoever. They would have made the same complaints or insults to anyone who happened to be in that role not just you.
Don’t Let Yourself Be Provoked
Don’t let yourself be provoked by a problem customer into reacting impulsively and engaging in some sort of back and forth exchange of insults or barbs. Instead, you want to keep control of yourself and therefore the situation, which will better enable you to steer the conversation away from confrontation or escalation and towards resolution.
Keep a Positive Demeanor
Regardless of the challenges presented by a problem customer, it’s important to maintain a positive demeanor throughout the interaction. That means being positive in your attitude, body language what you say, and even your tone of voice. It also means continuing to actively listen to the customer’s concerns, show empathy with their point of view and remain committed to helping them as best you can.
Focus On Solutions
It’s much easier to remain professional when your focus is not on how confrontational or unreasonable the problem customer is, but on constructive things you can do to resolve the issue. That doesn’t mean ignoring any inappropriate behavior – you should certainly call out any wrongdoing on the part of the customer, rather it means keeping the ultimate goal of achieving a positive resolution, at the forefront of your mind.
3. Assess the Level of Problem
Not all problem customers are created equal, and you need assess the level of difficult behavior involved so that you can tailor your response accordingly. In my experience, there are five levels of problematic customer, and the following details their characteristics and the approaches to use when talking to them – at least to start off with (the approaches will explained in more detail in the rest of this article):
Mildly Difficult Customer
Characteristics: This type of customer may display mild frustration or dissatisfaction but remains open to a resolution. They express concerns without aggressive language and are generally willing to engage in a constructive dialogue.
Response: Dealing with them involves active listening and offering appropriate solutions.
Demanding Customer
Characteristics: A demanding customer raises the stakes by insisting on immediate attention and expecting personalized solutions. They may use assertive language and show impatience.
Response: Handling demanding customers involves setting clear boundaries and firmly redirecting the conversation from confrontational topics to constructive solutions.
Argumentative Customer
Characteristics: This level involves customers who actively challenge your responses, possibly using confrontational language. They may question policies, demand exceptions, and resist standard procedures.
Response: Dealing with an argumentative customer requires you to try and diffuse the tension, gain control of the situation and if necessary, manage the escalation.
Chronically Dissatisfied Customer
Characteristics: Some customers consistently express dissatisfaction, irrespective of any resolutions offered. They may have a history of escalating minor issues and exhibit a pattern of chronic discontent.
Response: Managing chronically dissatisfied customers involves active listening, empathizing with them but setting firm boundaries.
Hostile Customer
Characteristics: At the highest level, a hostile customer displays aggression, verbal abuse, or even threats. They may use offensive language and create an atmosphere that’s confrontational and antagonistic.
Response: Dealing with a hostile customer requires prioritizing safety, involving appropriate channels (security or management), and maintaining a firm stance against unacceptable behavior.
4. De-Escalate / Diffuse the Situation
If, after assessing the situation you think you’re talking to one of the (relatively speaking) less problematic types of customers listed above, then you’re next step should be to try and diffuse the situation. Here’s how to do that:
Stay Calm and Collected
It’s important that you stay calm and maintain your composure at all times. Take a deep breath and consciously manage your emotional response. Don’t react impulsively or defensively as this can escalate the situation when you want to diffuse it. Instead speak in a calm and neutral tone and avoid using aggressive or confrontational language.
Remaining calm and collected also applies to your non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions. You need to maintain an open and approachable posture, and avoid displaying signs of frustration or irritation.
Continue Talking to the Customer As Normal
In the middle of an encounter with a problem customer it’s crucial to continue to talk to them as you normally would. While it might be tempting to adopt a defensive or slightly combative approach given the circumstances, continuing to talk to the customer in a normal manner can help diffuse tension and keep the interaction on a more constructive path.
Talking to a customer as you normally would means doing things like engaging in small talk, listening actively, responding with empathy and observing non-verbal cues. For more information about all these things, see the in-depth article I wrote on how to talk to a customer, here.
Actively Listen to the Customer
Active listening is a powerful tool for diffusing tension. By fully concentrating on what a problem customer is saying, understanding it and ensuring they feel heard, you foster a sense of validation and understanding which often causes the situation to de-escalate.
In order to actively listen to a customer you have to give them your full attention. Minimize any distractions and focus completely on what they are saying. Let the customer express themself without interruption and use verbal and non-verbal cues to show that you’re listening. That means nodding, making eye contact, and providing verbal affirmations like “I see” or “I understand”.
Ask open-ended questions so that you can clarify the issue at hand, and repeat back key points or summarize their grievances. Once a difficult customer realizes that you’re genuinely interested in helping them and won’t engage in some sort of confrontation, they’re likely to calm down and become more receptive to your assistance.
Empathize, But Don’t Agree Unnecessarily
Empathizing with a problem customer can often diffuse tense situations. Once a customer feels that their issues and frustrations have been acknowledged and that you truly understand their point of view, they’re going to be much more open to resolving the situation amicably.
It’s important to note however, that empathizing with a problem customer doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. Empathy does not mean that you have to compromise the integrity of your position or concede ground that may not be warranted. You need to empathizing with and understand the customer’s position, while at the same time stand firm on company policies and avoid conceding to demands that go against established guidelines.
Choose Your Words Wisely
Choosing your words wisely will also help de-escalate a conversation with a problem customer. Make sure you use neutral and non-confrontational language and avoid inflammatory or accusatory words that may provoke a defensive reaction. Focus on language that promotes understanding and resolution not on language that promotes discord and conflict.
Additionally, frame your responses in a positive light. Instead of saying what cannot be done, focus on what can be achieved or alternative solutions. Make sure to steer clear of industry jargon or technical language that might confuse or frustrate the customer. You want to communicate in clear and straightforward terms to ensure that there are no unhelpful misunderstandings.
Offer Solutions, Not Arguments
When talking to a problem customer, it’s crucial to shift the focus from arguments to solutions. Instead of engaging in a back-and-forth exchange of insults, redirect the conversation towards constructive resolutions. A tense situation can quickly become diffused when the customer realizes you’re truly trying to find practical answers to their concerns.
And on occasion, a confrontational interaction can turn into a complimentary interaction, when the customer realizes that you’re continuing to try and help them despite all their frustrations.
5. Gain Control of the Situation
When diffusing a situation doesn’t work or if you’re talking to one of the more difficult types of customer, it becomes crucial to regain control of the interaction by steering the conversation back to a more constructive path and preventing further escalation. Here are some effective strategies to help you do that:
Set Clear Boundaries
Clearly communicate to the customer acceptable behaviors and set boundaries to prevent any form of verbal abuse or disrespect. This might include expectations for their mode of conduct, respectful language, calm tone, and adherence to established communication protocols.
Refer to relevant organizational policies and procedures that support the boundaries you’re setting. This not only adds legitimacy to your position but it also emphasizes that your boundaries are not arbitrary but are rooted in the organization’s standards of conduct.
Make it known that there are consequences for crossing the established boundaries – for example termination of the conversation, involvement of higher authorities, or even, in extreme cases, the discontinuation of the business relationship. Communicate these consequences calmly but firmly.
Use Assertive Communication
Use assertive communication to express your viewpoints firmly and confidently but respectfully so that it doesn’t escalate the tension. Articulate your thoughts and points clearly and directly, avoid vague language or ambiguous statements and ensure that the customer understands your position. Be confident but not arrogant.
Frame your statements using an “I” perspective to take ownership of your feelings and opinions. For example, say, “I understand your frustration, and I am here to help find a solution,” rather than pointing fingers with “you” statements, which can come off as accusatory.
Stay Firm, Not Aggressive
While assertiveness helps you express your position confidently, aggression can escalate the situation and hinder the resolution process, which is why you want to maintain your firm stance without ever resorting to becoming aggressive.
Select your words thoughtfully to convey your message clearly yet firmly, without resorting to harsh language. Avoid using inflammatory or accusatory phrases, as that’s likely to provoke a defensive reaction from an already combative customer. Instead, use neutral language and avoid any signs of hostility or anger.
Do not attack the customer personally, make derogatory comments about them or engage in blame games as they only serve to escalate the tension and hinder the resolution process. Avoid responding to a customer’s provocations with defensiveness or counterattacks and steer clear of power struggles with them. The goal is not to dominate a problem customer but to assertively guide the conversation towards a resolution.
Use Positive Language
Using positive language is a powerful tool for gaining control of the situation. The key is to use language that focuses on the desired behavior and not language that emphasizes restrictions. For example, instead of saying, “Don’t raise your voice,” you can say, “Let’s keep our conversation at a respectful volume.”
Refrain from using negative language as that can escalate the situation. Instead of saying “I can’t do that,” frame it more positively by saying something like, “Let me explore alternative solutions for you” or “I’ll do my best to find a resolution.”
Redirect the Conversation
Redirecting the conversation is a strategic communication technique that will help you gain control of the situation by steering the dialogue away from unproductive or confrontational topics and refocusing it on finding constructive solutions to the issue at hand.
Use a transitional statement to do this. For example, you might say, “I understand your frustration, and I’m here to help. Let’s explore some alternatives that could address this issue effectively.”
Emphasize shared goals or objectives to foster a cooperative spirit and create a sense of unity. Reinforce the fact that both you and the customer are aiming for a positive outcome. For instance, you could say something like, “Our common goal is to ensure your satisfaction. Let’s work together to find the best way to achieve that.”
6. Manage an Escalation
If you’re unable to diffuse the tension or gain control of the situation or are simply talking to a hostile customer, then it may become necessary to implement escalation procedures for the safety of all parties involved. Here’s how to do that.
Prioritize Personal and Stock Safety
When a difficult customer escalates the situation, you need to prioritize personal and stock safety above all other things – and obviously, in that order. It’s crucial to maintain a heightened awareness throughout an escalated interaction and to continuously assess the severity of the situation, so that you can decide both when to call for assistance and from whom – management, security personnel or emergency services.
Seek Support from Colleagues
Some customer service agents think that seeking support from colleagues is a sign of failure but it is not. The reality is that many times escalating interactions are completely out of your control as they’re caused by external factors, such as the customer’s behavior or unique circumstances, and seeking support from colleagues in such situations can be the best way to manage it.
The support of colleagues does several things. First it presents a difficult customer with a united front, signalling a cohesive and organized response, which is likely to prompt the customer to reconsider their approach, reduce their aggressive behavior and engage in a more cooperative and constructive dialogue.
The presence of multiple team members also reinforces the authority and credibility of your message, making it more likely that the customer will accept what you’re saying. Finally, since as they say, two heads are better than one, bringing in colleagues can help by introducing a fresh perspective to the situation so that new insights or approaches for resolving the problem can be devised.
Escalate to Management
If support from colleagues doesn’t resolve the issue, then another option you have is to escalate the problem customer to management. Higher-ups may possess the skills and expertise to handle difficult customers or the authority to resolve the issue in a way that you cannot.
Before initiating an escalation, ensure that front-line resources for dealing with a problem customer have been exhausted. If they have, then escalate the case. Clearly communicate all the necessary details to management and let the customer know that the matter has been escalated.
Provide 3 Warnings Then Terminate the Interaction
Work on a “three strikes and your out” system where you provide three warnings to the customer on three separate occasions after which you terminate the interaction. Each time you give the customer a warning explain firmly that you do not tolerate any abuse and that if they do not desist from their inappropriate behavior, the interaction will be ended.
If the situation continues to escalate or it becomes abusive, assertively tell the customer that you’re going to conclude the conversation. Offer alternative channels or support avenues for further resolution and then terminate the interaction.
Ask Security to Intervene
In certain situations, a problem customer can become so challenging that their behavior escalates to a point where your physical safety or the safety of others is at risk. Although you don’t want to be doing this frequently and you should use this option judiciously, under some circumstances, seeking the assistance of security personnel or, in extreme cases, law enforcement is unfortunately necessary.
However, don’t think that asking for security to intervene means that they simply come and take the unruly customer away and that’s the end of it from your point of view. Sometimes you’re able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, when the presence of security personnel causes the situation to de-escalate, so you can bring it back on track and actually resolve the customer’s problem successfully!
7. Implement a Zero Abuse Tolerance Policy
Your company will have a zero abuse tolerance policy, and by understanding and applying it you equip yourself with a valuable tool that you can use when you’re talking to a problematic customer. A zero abuse tolerance policy sets clear boundaries for respectful dialogue and outlines what constitutes unacceptable behavior – be it through offensive language, threats, or any form of harassment.
When you recognize the signs of abusive behavior, you need to assertively but professionally communicate to the customer that their behavior is unacceptable and violates your company’s policies.
Use the above mentioned, “three strikes and your out” system where you give three warnings to the customer on three separate occasions after which you terminate the interaction – I know that may sound like it’s not a zero abuse policy, but the immediate warnings mean you’re addressing the abuse immediately and not tolerating it all.
This is for verbal abuse only. In cases of physical abuse no warnings are necessary and the appropriate action – whether removing the customer from the premises, security intervention, or the involvement of law enforcement, should be taken immediately.
8. Use a CCTV or Phone Record System
Nowadays, most stores and service providers have a Closed-Circuit Television (CCTV) system and it’s standard practice for the phone calls of customer service agents to be recorded. Although these technologies are not implemented specifically for this reason, they do help you talk to problem customers more confidently and effectively.
That’s because the knowledge that customer interactions are being monitored will instill a sense of security and assurance in you that will give you the confidence to navigate a conversation with a problem customer more easily. Additionally, when you point out that the conversation is being monitored, difficult customers are less likely to engage in confrontational behavior.
Beyond the immediate safety benefits, these systems also offer an invaluable tool for accountability. In the event of disputes or accusations, the recorded footage or call logs serve as an objective and unbiased documentation of the interaction. This documentation is particularly important when addressing allegations of misconduct, as they provide an accurate and impartial record that can be reviewed internally and, if necessary, shared with the relevant authorities.