What to Call a Customer: How to Address to Impress

It can be difficult to appreciate, but the simple act of addressing a customer has far-reaching consequences. I’ve witnessed firsthand how this subtle nuance can either elevate the customer experience or lead it wildly astray (in other words, while nowadays I usually get it right, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes too). Here’s what you should call a customer to make sure your relationship goes in the right direction.

When addressing a customer it’s best to start off being formal. That means calling a customer by their title “Mr”, “Mrs”, “Ms”, “Dr” etc and last name or if you don’t know their name, “Sir” or “Ma’am”. Of course, when it becomes appropriate you can transition into using a more informal mode of address.

In the rest of this article, I’ll explain exactly why the way you address a customer is so important, share some nuances about what to call a customer and show you how to personalize the way you address them. We’ll also look at all the factors you should consider when deciding when to transition into using a more informal mode of address.

What You Call a Customer is Important

A blackboard with 12 hanging name tags with different titles and names to call a customer

Pretty much everything you say to a customer is important and your choice of words has the potential to improve your relationship with them or on the flip side ruin it. Which is why I wrote a separate article about how to talk to a customer, which you can find here. However, no where is this more true than in the crucial aspect of what to call a customer. A person’s name carries immense significance for them and what you call someone resonates deeply, so you need to address your customer with a great deal of care.

When you address a customer properly you demonstrate your respect for them because you’re acknowledging and appreciating something that they hold in very high value – their name. Using a respectful address helps you build a rapport with the customer, fosters trust and openness with them, and contributes to a more positive and meaningful interaction.

What you call a customer is also important because it allows you personalize the customer’s experience. This helps improve your relationship with the customer as it signals you see them as an individual with whom you’re going to have a tailored and personalized interaction, designed to address their unique needs and requirements.

On the other hand, addressing a customer in the wrong way, conveys a considerable lack of respect and attention to detail. It will also create a sense of disconnect with you thereby preventing you from building any rapport with the customer, and diminish their confidence in your ability to provide them with what they need. They may also feel that you don’t see them as an individual but as someone with whom you’re having another generic and routine interaction.

What to Call a Customer – The Default Position

Whenever addressing a customer it’s best to be formal at least to start off with. If you know the customer’s name, because for example you have an appointment with them, that means using their title “Mr”, “Mrs”, “Ms”, “Dr” etc and last name. If you don’t know the customer’s name because for example you’re approaching them in a store, that means using the terms “Sir” or “Ma’am”.

This is especially important if you’re talking to an older customer who’s more used to being addressed in this way. They’ll probably appreciate the more conventional approach, and may be slightly taken aback if you just use their first name.

Although it’s becoming more prevalent in certain companies to address the customer using their first name, I find it better to be more formal. That’s because being formal allows me to demonstrate respect for the customer, show that I value them and maintain a more professional atmosphere.

The only exceptions to this are either if you’re part of a culture where it’s completely normal to call customers by their first name (as long as it’s in line with company policy) or if your company requires you to do so even though you might prefer to be more formal.

When talking to customers whose name you don’t know over the phone, because of a lack of visual cues you may run into the problem of being unsure of the their gender. In that scenario it’s best not to call the customer anything until you ask them their name. For more information about that and other issues that apply specifically when addressing a customer over the phone, see this more in-depth article I wrote about it here.

Personalize the Way You Address a Customer

A businessman holding a tablet and rotating through personalized icons

While, as explained above, you want to address your customer in a formal way, you also want to personalize what you call them and steer clear of generic terms as much as possible. As explained above, it’s easier to create a relationship with the customer if they feel that you see them as an individual rather than another nameless person whose needs are no different from anyone else’s.

That’s why if you know the customer’s name you should always use it. “Good morning, Mr Portnoy” (I see my husband as my customer) is always better than “Good morning, Sir” as it demonstrates a much greater level of attention and focus, and makes the customer feel much more valued (although for some reason, my husband would prefer I called him “Sir”).

That being said, “Sir” or “Ma’am” is perfectly fine if you’re serving customers in a store as those interactions are more transactional, and the customer doesn’t expect you to know their name. In fact, the customer expects you not to know their name, and would find it strange if you did. However, if you find yourself repeatedly serving the same customer in your store, over time you should definitely ask them their name and start using it.

When writing emails or letters, it’s very common for companies to fall into the habit of addressing the customer in a more generic way. I’m constantly receiving emails that start “Dear Customer” (which is generic and impersonal) or “Dear Valued Customer” (which is even worse – how can I be valuable if you don’t even know my name) or “Dear Sir/Madam” (which annoys me because essentially you’re telling me to select the one that applies and address myself on your behalf).

Now I’m not an unreasonable person. I do understand that sometimes you just don’t know the customer’s name and that there are times when companies send out generic letters and emails. Nevertheless, even then, it’s best to reduce the level of genericness and impersonality as much as possible. I wouldn’t go beyond “Dear Customer”, and even then would prefer a simple “Hi there”, “Greetings” or “Welcome” as appropriate.

The only time it is appropriate to be generic and impersonal is if you don’t have a specific contact in a company and that company has a brand or is a big corporation. In that case you could, when addressing someone from the company, say something like, “Hello [Brand/Corporation]”.

Transitioning to a More Informal Mode of Address

A customer service agent using an informal mode of address

In the ever-shifting landscape of customer interactions, knowing when to switch from a formal mode of address to a more informal mode of address isn’t just a skill – it’s an art. Not only that, but there are times when you’re able to transition to a more informal mode of address if you want, and there are times when you absolutely must. The key is understanding and adapting to the different factors involved:

Regional and Cultural Expectations

The cultural norms and expectations in your region are the first things you should consider when thinking about transitioning from addressing a customer formally to addressing them informally. Here in the United States, it’s becoming increasingly more common to call customers by their first name even from the first meeting and certainly by the second or third, and there’s an expectation for the relationship to quickly develop a more familiar and friendly tone.

In some regions however, cultural norms dictate that this evolution of the relationship takes place over a much longer period of time, and in others that they never happen at all.

Industry Norms

Industries vary significantly in their communication norms. On the one hand, you have more professional industries that like to maintain a highly formal environment, where a respectful and professional address is often always required, and on the other you have the far more causal, creative and dynamic sector where an informal atmosphere is encouraged to the extent that it’s quite common to transition into calling even your boss by their first name.

Here’s a list of industries that fall into both those categories

Professional Industries:

  • Legal Services
  • Financial Services
  • Government and Public Administration
  • Healthcare and Pharmaceuticals
  • Corporate Governance and Compliance

Creative and Dynamic Sectors:

  • Technology and Startups
  • Creative and Design
  • Media and Entertainment
  • Retail and Hospitality
  • Marketing and Public Relations

Company Values

The unique culture of your company is another factor to consider when you want to transition to addressing your customer informally. Every organization has its own distinct values, norms, and approaches to customer interactions, even within the same industry and region.

Some companies prioritize a friendly and approachable atmosphere, and they might want you to transition to an informal mode of address as soon as you can. On the other hand, some companies prioritize formality and professionalism, and they may not want you to transition to a more informal mode of address until a stronger connection with the customer has been developed.

Method of Communication

Some methods of communication are more conducive to transitioning into a more informal mode of address while others inherently have that more formal feel. That’s because different methods of communication allow you to create a rapport with the customer faster and the sooner you have a good relationship with the customer, the sooner you can start calling them by their first name.

In general, the asynchronous and slower nature of written communication like letters and emails means it takes a considerable amount of time to build a rapport with the customer and transition into an informal mode of address, as the deliberate and delayed back-and-forth elongates the process.

On the other hand, when talking to a customer over the phone, the dynamic nature of real-time conversation speeds up this process significantly. And if you’re talking to a customer face to face, you can leverage the additional dimension of body language to create a connection almost immediately.

Age and Generational Differences

Another factor to consider is age and generational differences. Even if your particular company or industry has a given norm, your customers may be from a mixture of age groups and a one size fits all approach under those circumstances, will be very damaging. You’ll need to adapt to the different preferences of different ages and generations.

As a rule of thumb, older generations prefer a traditional and formal mode of address, whereas younger generations often appreciate a more casual and informal tone. You’ll therefore want to be much more cautious about transitioning to a more informal mode of address with an older customer, but ready to move relatively quickly to a first name basis when talking to a customer from a younger generation.

Professional Title Or Position of the Customer

In business settings, individuals hold varying positions, each of which have different expectations regarding formality. Recognizing these distinctions is crucial for striking the right balance between respect and approachability.

If your customer is someone with a professional title (for example a doctor or professor) or a senior executive role, then once again, you’ll want to be much more cautious about transitioning to a more informal mode of address. However, if your customer has no professional title or a more junior position, you’ll be able to move to a first name basis much sooner.

Customer Preference

The most useful factor to use in determining when to transition to a more informal mode of address is customer preference. After all, customer service revolves around prioritizing the needs and wants of the customer and what they want to be called is included in that.

That’s why you need to pay attention to any cues or preferences expressed by the customer. If you’re unsure as to what they mean you should always err on the side of formality until you have a better understanding of the customer, but here are some general guidelines:

If a customer carries themselves with a formal demeanor (as expressed by their conduct and language), then you should respond in kind until they naturally become more relaxed and informal. On the other hand, if they introduce themselves by their first name, it’s usually a good sign that they’re comfortable with that level of informality. And if they tell you to call them by their first name, then that’s exactly what you should do.

Your Ongoing Relationship

As your interactions with the customer unfold over time and your rapport with them develops, the dynamics of your relationship will inevitably influence the level of formality that feels comfortable and appropriate. That’s why you need to pay attention to the subtle shifts in the relationship and adjust how you address the customer accordingly.

In the early stages of your relationship with the customer where you don’t know them well enough, it’s best to maintain a more formal mode of address. However, as the relationship progresses and becomes more familiar, opportunities to use a more relaxed mode of address will naturally present themselves.

Tamar Portnoy

Tamar Portnoy is a seasoned professional with over 15 years of extensive experience in the field of customer service. She created Customer Service Warrior to help people enhance their skills and navigate the complexities of customer interactions with confidence and finesse.

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